Friday 23rd July

I was at the edge of the woodland and saw what can only be described as 'magnificent'. It was a noisy machine with two wheels and a grave young hooligan grasping its ears! I ran back home and tried to speak to Benjamin who was busy coercing a frog into doing something demeaning.

'Benjamin,' I said, 'what is the name of the two-wheeled thing that people ride? It's noisy and fast.'

'A bike,' Benjamin replied irritably, not taking his eyes off of the frog, which had started to complain in a loud voice. 'Possibly a motorbike.'

'What's the difference?' I asked. I was momentarily distracted by Flopsy who said hello to me but managed to ignore her.

'One has an engine,' Benjamin said quietly. 'Now piss off.'

I have written to McGregor to ask about acquiring one of these wonderful machines - I have told him that seeing as he refuses to give my clothes back he may as well compensate me. It may have to be a smaller motorbike but I'm sure that's doable.

In the afternoon I went to sit on a cow's back and admire the field. I see the two bad mice are up to their old tricks; there is a mass grave by the pond.

Thursday 22nd July

Flopsy keeps cornering me whenever I go to graze and making noises about 'Benjamin's problem.' I got a bit tired of her neediness the other day and nearly told her he was knocking off their daughter but she had one of her faces on so I thought it best to not intervene. Flopsy has been a bit funny with me ever since I left the Flopsy Bunnies unattended so I'm not going to push my luck.

I got into a fight with a robin this evening over a patch of land near McGregor's gate. The robin's wife has been pestering me for weeks about this spot that is supposedly theirs (something to do with a honeymoon) so I thought I'd teach him a lesson.

As he flew away he shouted something about 'getting the rooks to see to me'. I'm a little bit concerned as myself and the rooks have never been easy bedfellows; unlike Benjamin and Cottontail. Ho ho ho!